FOUR OF THE BEST
I've tried not to just write about ones involving my dear wife, but she does have a habit of putting her foot it. It can be so funny that I have to share, and please, I sometimes have been in the same boat as her.
So below are four short little stories that have happened to us over the past few months. Do enjoy!
1. Ellen was keen to get a job while in Atherton, so I said she should go to the local bingo hall and do some networking with the other ladies -- maybe they would know of some something that she could do.
So after two weeks of bingo on a Tuesday morning, I pull in and pick her up. She gets into the car and announces she has a job, I smile and say good for you.
But she smiles and says no, the job is for you! I told the ladies what you used to do and they were happy -- one lady said she needed work done on her house, and she wants you to go and do it for her down at Tully.
Now, I was surprised! I told her that the idea had not been to find me work, but to get her some. But she said it was good and I had to agree, but that was not what was going to happen at all.
2. So our next little story also took place at the bingo hall -- an event raising money for the kids and small charities. Wins are mostly around $20 or less -- so there's no big payouts and that's not what this is about, rather the country ladies use it as a place to catch up and chat.
So Ellen comes out after Bingo and gets in the car as per usual. This time she's quiet for a while and suddenly, she says: ''One of the ladies and I were talking about the wind turbines today, and she told me that the wind turbines are for keeping the cows cool is the hot summer days that they have up here!''
I sort of went: "What???''
And then she drops the bombshell: ''Is that true?''
I've got to say, my wife is blonde. So I asked her: ''Are you serious? Do you believe that they are for keeping cows cool in the summertime?''
And she says: ''No, but she sounded like she knew what she was saying!''
Now to be fair and provide a true picture, there are a good number of wind turbines on the tableland -- and they are in the process of putting in a heap more just now.
3. This happened to me when we called into the Target store in Rockhampton, as I was reversing into my parking spot. Ellen says, that guy over there is looking at you.
I look over to see a guy behind a car with just his head sticking over the roof staring at me. Then he was gone, but up popped his head a little further down towards the front of the car, still looking.
I went back to finishing off parking, and Ellen goes, he is still looking and is coming this way.
I glance over and he has a fixation -- on me or the car I'm not sure -- and I turn off the engine as he skirts around the front of the car.
Ellen goes, no he is going by us, no no, he’s not. He walked past my driver's window and stopped as I opened the door. As I looked in the mirror, that same stare was written all across his face.
I opened the door and kicked my thongs out the road. As I'm looking down trying to get my toes lined up, I said: ''Hi mate, what's up?''
He says: ''I want that black thing!''
Now, my thongs are black and they are my size 11s, so I'm thinking: ''You can't have them. I like my going out thongs!''
But as I slowly looked up I see his finger pointing up to the roof of the car. There's a glaze in his eyes and he says: ''Where did you get that, its great?''
I'm looking up thinking, what did I hit, is it on my roof? I follow his finger to my wind deflector, as he says ''I want one'' over and over.
A bit taken aback, I just explained that I got it on eBay for $80. But he just stares upward, saying ''I must have one''. I point out they are about 200-plus, which does not seem to bother him, as I try to get him to back up so I can close the door. He just looks up with his head moving left and right, with a little smile in the corner of his mouth. It was a little creepy, to say the least.
I lock up as he moves back toward his car, looking over his shoulder, still staring at my car.
I'm thinking, do I go into the shops? Will it still be here when we get out? Strange people live in this town, and I just met one.
So below are four short little stories that have happened to us over the past few months. Do enjoy!
1. Ellen was keen to get a job while in Atherton, so I said she should go to the local bingo hall and do some networking with the other ladies -- maybe they would know of some something that she could do.
So after two weeks of bingo on a Tuesday morning, I pull in and pick her up. She gets into the car and announces she has a job, I smile and say good for you.
But she smiles and says no, the job is for you! I told the ladies what you used to do and they were happy -- one lady said she needed work done on her house, and she wants you to go and do it for her down at Tully.
Now, I was surprised! I told her that the idea had not been to find me work, but to get her some. But she said it was good and I had to agree, but that was not what was going to happen at all.
2. So our next little story also took place at the bingo hall -- an event raising money for the kids and small charities. Wins are mostly around $20 or less -- so there's no big payouts and that's not what this is about, rather the country ladies use it as a place to catch up and chat.
So Ellen comes out after Bingo and gets in the car as per usual. This time she's quiet for a while and suddenly, she says: ''One of the ladies and I were talking about the wind turbines today, and she told me that the wind turbines are for keeping the cows cool is the hot summer days that they have up here!''
I sort of went: "What???''
And then she drops the bombshell: ''Is that true?''
I've got to say, my wife is blonde. So I asked her: ''Are you serious? Do you believe that they are for keeping cows cool in the summertime?''
And she says: ''No, but she sounded like she knew what she was saying!''
Now to be fair and provide a true picture, there are a good number of wind turbines on the tableland -- and they are in the process of putting in a heap more just now.
3. This happened to me when we called into the Target store in Rockhampton, as I was reversing into my parking spot. Ellen says, that guy over there is looking at you.
I look over to see a guy behind a car with just his head sticking over the roof staring at me. Then he was gone, but up popped his head a little further down towards the front of the car, still looking.
I went back to finishing off parking, and Ellen goes, he is still looking and is coming this way.
I glance over and he has a fixation -- on me or the car I'm not sure -- and I turn off the engine as he skirts around the front of the car.
Ellen goes, no he is going by us, no no, he’s not. He walked past my driver's window and stopped as I opened the door. As I looked in the mirror, that same stare was written all across his face.
I opened the door and kicked my thongs out the road. As I'm looking down trying to get my toes lined up, I said: ''Hi mate, what's up?''
He says: ''I want that black thing!''
Now, my thongs are black and they are my size 11s, so I'm thinking: ''You can't have them. I like my going out thongs!''
But as I slowly looked up I see his finger pointing up to the roof of the car. There's a glaze in his eyes and he says: ''Where did you get that, its great?''
I'm looking up thinking, what did I hit, is it on my roof? I follow his finger to my wind deflector, as he says ''I want one'' over and over.
A bit taken aback, I just explained that I got it on eBay for $80. But he just stares upward, saying ''I must have one''. I point out they are about 200-plus, which does not seem to bother him, as I try to get him to back up so I can close the door. He just looks up with his head moving left and right, with a little smile in the corner of his mouth. It was a little creepy, to say the least.
I lock up as he moves back toward his car, looking over his shoulder, still staring at my car.
I'm thinking, do I go into the shops? Will it still be here when we get out? Strange people live in this town, and I just met one.